Roll Over Reenactment

It only took Stellaru three months and ten days to roll over. Technically, this video shows the second time she does her new move. Enjoy!

For My Grandfather

A little more than a month ago my family said goodbye to my grandfather. I had the honor of saying his eulogy that day. It was one of the most honored and toughest talk I have ever given. I post it here to share with whom ever might read this blog because I'd like to take a moment to remember him again and to share a little bit about a man I knew very well. Without him, I may have never come to a deep faith in Christ. Without him, I may have never come to appreciate the Christian tradition that has enriched my days. This is for my grandfather. Peace be with you who are reading this post...

"Today we are celebrating the Rite of Christian burial for Richard Joseph Swaggart.  This rite has been celebrated by Christians from the earliest days of the Way and has been passed to us through the ages.  Toward the end of the 2^nd century the apologist Tertullian wrote extensively about this rite and I hope to be buried as countless Saints have been for the past 2000 years.  It’s somewhat ironic and appropriate that we are celebrating Joe’s death and burial as we journey through the Easter season, the season of resurrection, to Pentecost.

This ancient and enduring Christian tradition has been passed to me by the Saint we are celebrating today and saying goodbye to… wait, did I just say Saint? The title of Saint may just be the absolute last title assigned to Joe.  I’m positive that each of us could come up with much better names to describe Joe… One of us in this room calls him son, others brother and some father and grandfather.  His loyal patrons would call him Mr. Joe.

Mamaw Carolyn shared with me that one of the last things Joe looked forward to was getting better so that he could be back to work at Blue Chip and with his friends.  He was incredibly attached to the people he met as they traveled through their days.  Many folks were loyal to Blue Chip and Mr. Joe.  It became daily routine for them to swing by to grab a cup of coffee or hot link.  But it wasn’t just for the refreshments that people came by.  A few friends have said, “If you were ever having a bad day all you have to do is swing by Blue Chip to see Mr. Joe.  Your day will get much better after that!”  Others talked about how much they are going to miss him and how much of a prankster he was!

For example: Joe noticed that a customer came into the store for his usual cup of coffee and as always, left his car running just outside the front door.  Without a second thought Joe seized the opportunity to jump in the car and move it around behind the store.  The customer, not noticing what Joe had done, paid for his coffee, wished everyone a good day, walked outside, looked up and scratched his head, then began to pace, each step becoming quicker than the last.  Finally after a few minutes of pacing the man returned to the counter and yelled, “Joe! Someone stole my car! Call 9-1-1!” To which Joe replied, “Yea! Me dummy!” and held up his keys.  We are all well aware that his pranks didn’t stop with seasoned adults but also extended to his impressionable children as well.

One day a couple of his kids needed money for a coke.  Joe, never the man to pass up a good deal when he recognized it, decided that they could do a few chores for a little change.  See he needed a little fertilizer for his garden.  He said, “Alright, see those cow paddies out there? Good… I need a couple of buckets full for the garden.  Now you can’t just get any cow paddy no, I need the good ones.  So, here’s how you find the good ones.  Ya stick your finger in it!  If your finger will go in the cow paddy it’s not a good one.  So you need to find the ones that you’re finger won’t go in.”  The kids must have been wise because they quickly realized what he was up to!

Joe was never a man to be outdone by any man or any beast for that matter!  If you said he couldn’t or shouldn’t do something he’d give it a shot just to spite you.   Stubborn would not adequately define my grandfather’s personality.  Papaw Harry had this great big Brahma bull in his pasture and somehow Papaw Joe got the idea that he was going to ride it.  In reality he was probably told he couldn’t ride the bull.  So, he told his daddy, “I ain’t ever seen a bull that I couldn’t ride.”  So he crept out across the pasture all redneck style and slid himself across the bull’s back, head on the left side of the bull and feet on the right.  Papaw Harry reported, “That bull threw him so high that before Joe hit the ground a bird built a nest in his pocket!”  Still, I’m told that .5 seconds counts as actually riding a bull…

Here’s another instance when Joe wouldn’t be out done: He took Waylon, Howard, and Bill hunting one winter morning.  They really should have been smart enough to know not to go hunting with Joe.  I’m told it was freezing that morning and that ice was all over everything.  Waylon wanted to build a fire to keep warm and I’m sure Howard and Bill agreed.  Joe said, “NO! You’ll catch yourself on fire!”

About an hour passed and Joe began to get cold.  So… with the help of fellow freezing hunters, he built a fire.  Now Joe wore polyester pants everywhere, even hunting.  After warming his hands and front he turned to warm his back side.  It only took a few more minutes of roasting before, yes, he set himself on fire!  And to make a long story short, when Joe came out of the woods a smoke trail followed him, he had only one pant leg left, and a sock was melted to him.  Oh, and Waylon was grounded for life…

I could stand here and tell you, with the help of family and friends, countless stories of Papaw Joe’s antics.  Like the time Joe released a piglet at Roy Ray’s Cafe and yelled, “I want a fresh pork chop!”  Or, the time that Joe was called to come and get my dad from school because little Joey was gambling.  When Joe arrived at the principles office, an office that I’m sure he knew well from his childhood days, he asked, “Was he winning? If he wasn’t winning then he’s grounded!”  He even convinced Aunt Alisa that Evangeline Downs was a Catholic teen club!

We could go on-and-on about Joe.  We could share funny stories and not so funny stories about Joe’s life.  I hope that we can continue to tell stories about Joe as we move forward in life without him.

For me, it has been very painful to see such a stubborn and ornery man struggle through the final days of his life but his passing has taught me what it can be to die with dignity.  With effort, I have always been very close to him.  I remember vividly trading snide remarks of welcome with him and ending with an embrace.  “Brandon Bay,” he would say, “what the hell do you want?!”  “Nothing from you!” I would reply.  On some level, we very much spoke the same language.  In many ways throughout my life he has helped me to understand myself, what it means to have faith, and what it means to be a cynic.  He encouraged me as a young boy to fight for the right thing, believe in God with love and respect not fear of death and hell, always be confident even if you’re faking it, listen to your elders even if you think they’re full of it, and always apologize when necessary.  Most of this teaching was tempered by his mistakes and I can’t say anyone has said he’s ever apologized to them.

Since I was a teenager, Papaw Joe and I have been brutally honest with each other.  It is a relationship that I will greatly miss…  For some reason he felt comfortable telling me some of the most tragic and insane things he has done or witnessed.  A few weeks ago I crawled in the bed with him and told him to move over so I could take a nap.  He joked, “Boy, can’t you see I’m dying here?!”  Soon after, the conversation became serious and he said that he was not afraid to die.  He told me that he had plenty of time laying in his bed reflecting on his life.  He felt that he made peace with God and could move into death without anxiety.  I am thankful to have been able to have one last round of jokes and cynicism as well as intimate conversation with him.  He said he loved having a second chance to “make out with his wife,” tell his kids that he loved them, and visit with friends.  Though he had a really hard time showing it, and in some relationships remained completely absent, Joe loved us.  He said that it was easier for him to be abrasive than it was for him to show love.  I’m sure we can all relate to being uncomfortable with intimacy at times.  Even right now…

At the end of our time, I think he gave me the most valuable advice a young man could get from a grandfather… try and live each day with courage and no regret.  “You won’t be able to do it,” he said, “but try harder than I did.”  We family know that Joe, in many ways, chose to live without courage and with regret.  He told me he wished he had not treated many people in his life the way he did, especially his children.  Though my grandfather was never able to muster the courage to right wrongs in his life, I pray I can follow his advice.  I pray we, his family and friends who are gathered at the table of the Lord, can find the courage to live without regret in the Light of Christ.  I loved my grandfather…

Richard Joseph Swaggart, pray for us, may you forever sing “Hosanna in the highest” to the King of Kings.  Pax et bonum…"

Peanut's Debut

Deanna and I went to the OB for our midpoint check-up. Can you believe we're half way there! Just think, in twenty more weeks, give or take, we'll be holding Peanut! D and I are incredibly excited for Peanut's arrival but are also enjoying each day. I mean, it's not everyday you get to shop for maternity cloths right?! Since this is her first pregnantcy we really want to enjoy as many moments as we can. For example, I really enjoy the moments when she looks at me and say, "Brandon, I think I want breakfast for dinner." Wow, does pregnancy change a person or what?! She's never wanted breakfast before. And to top that, she has been requesting pancakes. PANCAKES!!! She's even eating, yep, you guessed it, EGGS!!! Needless to say, Brandon is one happy camper. Tonight we're going to fire up the grill, ever so tiny that it is, and cook a nice steak with some vegetable cabobs. Just thought I'd add that cause I'm really looking forward to it.

Anyway, half way... we have a DVD of Peanut chillin in Deanna's belly. It's just about the coolest thing since sliced bread. And how amazing! This is certainly a miracle if I've ever experienced one! If you'd like to see it and weigh in on what you think it is, boy or girl not alien or sea monster, we'd be happy to read your thoughts. No, we do not know if it's an alien or sea monster. We plan to wait and be suprised. D says it's the one true suprise God gives us in life. Other than death and taxes... ;) Peace be with you and go to my facebook profile to see Peanut!

Yep, I'm No Good at This Blog Thing

So it has been six months since I last put anything in the blog. Wow... I really need to get better at this! 2009 was a wonderful year for Deanna and me! I finished another year of grad school! Woo Hoo! And here comes graduation! Well, December 2010 anyway. And Deanna finished her first year with Arveda Family Care... not to mention professing her faith in God and celebrating it in baptism! And oh... yeah... there's this little thing called WE'RE HAVING A BABY too!!!!! I can't believe we're finally going to be parents! She's going to be a great mom... Deanna has an amazing gift when it comes to caring for others. She just seems to know just what a person needs and puts the balm on the hurt. At this point, I can only imagine what she'll be like when Peaknut arrives. Just last night she sat up in the bed and said, "Peaknut is 'wrastlin'... tee he he!" Yes, she was asleep when this happened and yes it was Kentuckyanese for wrestling. LOL It was just about the sweetest thing I have ever seen. Well the second sweetest thing...

I haven't been able to get the sound Peaknut's heart out of my head after hearing it for the first time at the Dr's office. So, we bought a fetal monitor a week ago and it arrived in the mail yesterday. We were very excited to rip it out of the box and get to listening. After a few min of trying we almost decided to give up for the evening, we both even had doubts that we would be able to find the heart beat, but suddenly we heard it! We looked at one another with wide eyed amazement and big toothy grins! I swear that sound is just about the most amazing thing every! It is miraculous! I really can't help but thinking of Psalm 139 where it says:

"You formed my inmost being;

you knit me in my mother's womb.

I praise you, so wonderfully you made me;

WONDERFUL ARE YOU WORKS!

My very self you knew;

my bones were not hidden from you,

When I was being made in secret,

fashioned as in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes foresaw my actions;

in your book all are written down;

my days were shaped, before one came to be."

God thinks we are wonderful! What dreams God must have for us!

Coming into this chapter of my life I feel like I have an even closer glimpse of God. Even now, before I even know what our child will be like, I have such great love for it. Even now I feel like I already know Peaknut. And if I have all of these dreams for my child, how much does God dream for me?

I am happy to know that the dream God has for me includes a wonderful and faithful partner in Deanna and, in due time, a swashbuckling little girl/boy currently named Peaknut. I can't wait to see Peaknut smile!

Needless to say, we have been incredibly blessed this past year by growing in faith and family. We both look forward to God winks in 2010! Pax et bonum! Peace and all blessings!

Here is a link to Peaknut's heartbeat!

Pentecost

Come Holy Spirit!

The feast of Pentecost reminds me of how we tell each other, "I love you." We say and act in love over an over again because we want others to know how much we love them. And in so doing, we give others our spirit. I think it is the same with God.

He does not give us his spirit in a single "born again" experience but he extends it to us for all time. In Baptism the Spirit of God cleanses us from sin. God himself nourishes us with His body and blood with each celebration of Eucharist. In confirmation, the Bishop anoints us and prays, "Be filled with the Holy Spirit," and asks God to fill us with every gift and grace just as Jesus did to his disciples after his resurrection. God breaths forgiveness on us through the sacrament of Reconciliation. When we enter in the the sacred covenant of marriage we are able to express Ruah to our partner and act as Christ to one another. The Lord is constantly transforming us more and more into His image when we celebrate the sacraments!

Ruah, the breath of God named in Genesis at the creation of all things, in opening the gospel of John as the "Word," and in Acts 2 as "a strong driving wind," carries us through our lives as a sacramental and pilgrim people. So here we are (after anticipating the Messiah's birth through Advent; celebrating it at Christ Mass and the Christmas season; painfully walking with him through Lent to the cross; and victoriously celebrating his triumph over death at Easter) come to Pentecost and the fruitful planting of our gifts in the world by the indwelling of Ruah, The Breath of God!

May we, by the grace of God the Father, the love of Christ his son, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be ever faithful to his call.

Pax Tecum!

Surround the Violence

I’m taking a course on trauma and crisis management this summer. Man what a ride! It’s daunting to think I’m actually supposed to help someone manage something so terrible that they can't even speak it. And if they do speak it every ear in the world will shatter and every eye will shed tears. How does a person hold so much hurt? How much strength does it take for them to carry such a burden, a burden that is never wanted, throughout their entire life? As I keep hearing, and personally know to be true, “the body does not forget.”

I know that I am unable to bring Peace to ever person that I meet. I know that I cannot heal their wounds. But I also know that I have to try! We exist in violent world full of trauma. You can’t even watch the evening news without catching second degree trauma! We live with imaginary violence in our entertainment and actual violence in our communities. We hear about violence committed on children and families by the ones they love most. Violence begets violence…

…and our Lord tells us to love and do no harm. More than that! To love and do good because of love!

In our reflection today it says:

“When we surround [violence] and immerse it in goodness, the earth moves a tiny bit closer to becoming what God intended.

Even the smallest act of love changes the balance of love in this world. Little by little, goodness grows. It’ll take a long time, and we don’t expect to live to see it finished. But that’s what we are called to do.” 

–Little White Book 2009

So today we are called to be mindful of our steps and “refrain from every kind of evil” (1 Thess 5:22). Refrain not only from evil to others but evil to yourself. Give yourself a break! You’re doing great!

May we, by the grace of God, the love and Christ, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, act in love today and change the world!

Journey with us to Pentecost, the Fire is warm and waiting.

Pax Tecum!

Psalm 139: 1-16

Lord, you have probed me, you know me:

you know when I sit and stand;

you understand my thoughts from afar.

My travels and my rest you mark;

with all my ways you are familiar.

Even before a word is on my tongue,

Lord, you know it all.

Behind and before you encircle me

and rest your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is beyond me,

far too lofty for me to reach.

Where can I hide from your spirit?

From your presence, where can I flee?

If I ascend to the heavens, you are there;

If I lie down in Sheol, you are there too.

If I fly with the wings of dawn

and alight beyond the sea,

Even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely darkenss shall hide me,

and night shall be my light"

Darkness is not dark for you,

and night shines as the day.

Darkness and light are but one.

I wonder...

Mark 16:9

... what Mary Magdalen felt as she stood there looking at Jesus after his resurrection. The Gospel of Mark tells us that after his resurrection he appeared to her first: this woman who he cast seven demons out of. She must have felt so much love for him! She must have been so excited to see him! I wonder if she gave him a hug or kissed him. Did she just collapsed in awe? Or, did she do a happy dance? I think that she must have felt those feelings that jump down into our stomach or ride in our chest when we reunite with an old friend or family who we have not seen in a very long time.

Every day is a resurrection day for us, a resurrection people! Each moment is an opportunity for us to express love! After all, they're supposed to know us by our love. Sit a moment today and imagine that you are Mary Magdalen... what do you feel? How will you allow that to change you?

Journey with us to Pentecost... The Fire is warm and waiting.

Pax Tecum!

The Season of Easter, The Season of Resurrection!

For us, Easter does not end with a single day or a single celebration. From now until Pentecost we will celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. Everyday we will celebrate the Mass in worship of our risen King who reigns in our hearts for the salvation of the world!

"The crucifixion, death and resurrection of Jesus teaches that in Jesus Christ, human existence is not just continued. It is transformed... this human existence can be transformed in the paschal mystery into something magnificent, something that eye has not seen and ear has not heard.

By his dying on the cross and his rising to a transformed human life, Jesus has opened the door for us. He has shown us the way to follow.

To appreciate what we celebrate at Easter, I can think about the people I have known who have died...

When I think of them... and take in all the symbols of Easter... then a full realization and hope can come over me: Those who die in Christ are still with us in a living bond, and love still runs back and forth between us."

--The Little White Book Ten Minute Reflections on the Resurrection Narrative of Mark

Thinking on this brings me great comfort to know that our common baptism connects us in a "living bond" even after death. When I think of this living bond of love, I think about my great-great grandfather Richard H. Swaggart "Paw Bud" who was the first person in my family that I can remember dying and how I wish I could have known him better; I think of Brandel Johnson, a boy whose smile left the world far to quickly; I think about Annie Mae Swaggart who fervently prayed for her family; I imagine Walon Mobley giving me a toothy grin and how his hair was always perfect. I can still hear his laugh; I feel W. J. Kidd's painful pinch! I loved getting to know him. He was always patient with us boys.

And the list goes on and on...

...and we have hope! Hope that these ones, and all the saints, reside in the presence of God and smile on us, pray for us, and will welcome us when our turn to cross the plans of death come. What fear then should we have of anything? "Fear not!" the late John Paul II tells us. Our pastor is correct.

Journey with us... the Fire is warm and waiting.

Pax Tecum!

Happy Easter!

John 20:1-18

Happy Easter!

Today we celebrate the empty tomb! The Lord is alive! Death no longer has dominion over us! Alleluia!

It was a beautiful night for us as we stood in vigil for the resurrection! Deanna, after more than a year long discernment and prayer, entered the waters of baptism last night and returned a new creation. She professed her faith and was sealed with the Holy Spirit in Confirmation and received the Lord for the first time in Eucharist. She has joined our family around the table of the Lord. This family is like anyone's family, dysfunctional and flawed, but they will know us by how we love one another, just as Jesus tells us.

I am awed by her. It is not easy to choose the path of Christian life, but the burden is not a heavy one. The resurrected Lord has touched her heart and she has freely invited Him to live with her. I pray she live the dream the Father has for her, may she always find peace in the arms of the Son, and may she be filled with every grace and gift of the Spirit.

As her partner and friend, I am honored to be on this journey with her.

Journey with us these next 50 days to Pentecost... the Fire is warm and waiting!

Pax Tecum!